Pai Goes to Candy Mountain
by SamKo
Summary: One beautiful and sunny afternoon, Kishu and Taruto decide they want to take their best buddy out on an adventure. Rated for mild crude humor. Oneshot.


I'm back. But -sigh- with another one-shot. Panacea really hasn't been progressing because homework bombards me. I know people say it all the time, and it's not true, but I guess I'm putting this up to make up for my absent-ness.

Disclaimer: I don't own TMM or Candy Mountain.

((Author's Note)): Most people will instantly recognize what this script was based off of XD

* * *

It was a wonderful sunny afternoon, a crisp breeze wafting through the trees, as Pai the ever-so-lovely alien was taking a nap under a tree, when all of a sudden his comrades Kishu and Taruto randomly decided that they wanted to annoy the living crap out of him.

"Hey, Hey Pai! Pai, wake up! Wake up, Pai!" Kishu exclaimed a little too-happily.

"Yeah, Pai, you silly sleepy-head, wake up!" Taruto said in an awkwardly joyful tone.

"Aw, come one you guys, this had better be pretty freakin important, is the spaceship on fire?" Pai said, still drowzy.

"No, silly Pai, we found a map to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain, Pai!"

"Yeah, Candy Mountain! We're going to Candy Mountain. Come with us, Pai!"

"Yeah Pai, it'll be an adventure! We're going on an _adventure_, Pai!"

Pai wasn't convinced. "Yeah, Candy Mountain...right. I'm just gonna go back to sleep now," he started to fall back asleep, but Kish started throwing random jelly-aliens at him (yaknow, the kirema anima before it's gone through the fusion thing).

"NOO, PAI! You have to come with us to Candy Mountain!" Kishu jumped on his back and started hopping up and down on his shoulders.

"Yeah, Pai, Candy Mountain! It's a land of sweets, and joy...and joyness!" Taruto listed in lack of other adjectives for the magical destination.

Sounding very irritated, Pai muttered to Kishu, "Please stop bouncing on me..."

"CANDY MOUNTAIN, PAI!"

"YEAH, CANDY MOUNTAIN!"

"ALRIGHT! I'LL GO WITH YOU TO CANDY MOUNTAIN!!"

"YAY!"

So the three brave aliens departed on there perilous and amazing adventure, where many obstacles would come their way, they would meet new friends, come across enemies, all in hopes of eventually finding Candy Mountain.

Okay, so that's not exactly what happens, but they do have some stops on the way to Candy Mountain.

Kishu, Taruto, and Pai were exploring through a magical forest. Kishu and Taruto must have been thoroughly excited, because they began singing, "LALALALALA..."

"ENOUGH SINGING!"

"Our first stop is over there, Pai!" Kishu exclaimed, ever eager to meet and greet.

"For the love of Deep Blue-sama, what the hell is that?!"

"It's a Iriomote Wildcat Mew Mew, Pai!" Taruto started jumping happily.

"A MAGICAL Iriomote Wildcat Mew Mew, Pai! It's going to show us the waaaaaaaaaay!"

"Alright, you guys," Pai said, beginning to get creeped out by his friends' enthusiastic views, "You do understand that there's no such thing as Candy Mountain, right?"

"Shun the non-believer, Taruto!"

"Shuuuun," Taruto shunned as Kishu told him to, "Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnah."

Pai glanced at them oddly, but still not convinced. "Right."

And all of a sudden, the MAGICAL Iriomote Wildcat Mew Mew awoke from its deep slumber, yawned, stretched, curled back up into a ball, and fell asleep again. Kishu and Taruto were thrilled.

"It has spoken!" Taruto explained.

"It has shown us the way!" Kishu expanded on the explaination.

"It didn't say anything!" Pai argued, frustrated with the moronic aliens he called 'friends.'

The three continued on their perilous journey over a bridge.

"It's just over this bridge, Pai!"

"This magical bridge of hope and wonder!"

"I don't understand at all. This thing seems so unstable and dangerous, and I'm getting splinters all over and...wait. Why don't we just teleport over this thing? Hell with that, why don't we just teleport ourselves to Candy Mountain?!"

"Pai," Taruto randomly called out, "Paaaaiiiii. PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!"""""""""

"WHAT, I'M RIGHT HERE, WHADDYA WANT?!"

"We're on a bridge, Pai!"

Even Kishu and Taruto realizing how idiotic it was for them to be standing on a bridge, the three teleported away...and were standing in front of Candy Mountain.

"Well what do you know..." Pai said, amazed that he was wrong, "there's actually a Candy Mountain after all!"

"Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain! You fill me with sweet sugary goodness!"

"Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave, Pai!" Kishu pressured.

"Yeah, Pai, go inside the cave, magical wonders will be revealed when you entrer!" Taruto added.

"Erm...thanks, but no thanks, you two go ahead, I'm going to stay out here..."

And as expected, and not cliche at all, the singing and dancing letters, C-A-N-D and Y all came out of no where and, well, started singing and dancing.

"Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up,  
Then just head right on up to the candy mountain cave.  
When you get inside you will find yourself a cheery land.  
Such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land.  
They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things.  
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day.  
It's impossible to wear a frown in candy town.  
It's the Mecca of love, the candy mountain cave.  
They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats.  
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets.  
Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band.  
Candy bells, it's a treat as they march across the land.  
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground.  
Turn around, it astounds, it's a dancing candy tree.  
In the candy cave the imagination runs so free,  
so now Pai, will you please go into the cave."

"Alright FINE! I'll go inside the Candy Mountain Cave. This had better be worth my time..."

Pai wandered aimlessly into the dark Candy Mountain Cave, while Kishu and Taruto staye outside, watching him, and began to snicker.

"Goodbye, Pai."

"Yeah, goodbye Pai, see ya later!"

"Wha, goodbye? Aren't you coming in, too?!" Pai asked frantically as the doors to the cave shut and he was left in darkness. Suddenly footsteps could be heard, they came closer to Pai. Pai tried to converse, then teleport away, but sooner than later he was knocked out cold.

Later that wonderful sunny afternoon, the crispe breeze still making its merry way through the land, Pai awoke in the same spot he had awoken in earlier that day. He groaned, feeling an unusual pain in his side. Bringing a hand to the wound, he looked and freaked as he saw a large stitch crossing over the side of his stomach. Growling some more, Pai madly exclaimed, "THEY TOOK MY FRICKEN' KIDNEY!!"

_**Moral: The cute ones are the ones who want to rid you of your internal organs.**_

**_The End_**


End file.
